The other day Matt and I were telling a local painter about our photography business, and the painter said, “You should really get into school photos. That’s where the big money is.” At the time Matt and I were both mildly insulted that a fellow artist didn’t recognize our artistry. He thought that our creative ambition was wallet-sized, whereas we know it to be at least 5×9.
And then I read this article about class pictures in the New York Times Style Section. PTAs are now choosing annual school photographers who go beyond laser-beam backgrounds and instead wrangle children into “freestyle” poses so the resulting pictures look more like personalized senior yearbook photos than the dorky formal portraits we all know and love.
The traditionalist in me wants to hate this idea, but the millennial in me is all for it. The businesswoman in me, however, is pissed that she didn’t come up with it first. I will not be scooped again! Which is why I’ve identified a new professional photography market: mothers-to-be in the obstetrician’s office.
Currently, pregnant women can expect to leave their ultrasound appointments with blurry, black and white photos of the fetal echoes in their bellies. Boring and contrived! Enter me and Matt, seasoned pros. We will meet you in the exam room. We will make that unborn child jump around in the monitor. We will work with the ultrasound technician to ensure that the transducer captures the most flattering fetal angles. You’ll no longer have to settle for those generic, cheesy photos of your child just floating there in your uterus, looking like every other baby. Matt and I will create dynamic images that will distinguish your kid from the crowd even before he’s seen the light of day. And you can feel confident that your fetus will look amazing because we’ve photographed the White Stripes.*
*We haven’t actually photographed the White Stripes. But based on our fetal portfolio the band will probably be knocking on our door any minute.